Why I stopped the Larapinta Trail — Not just blisters, but boundaries.
“Nourishing our bodies means having boundaries”
I used to pride myself on being tough. Tenacious. Determined.
I was willing to be uncomfortable to get things done.
I could stick it out even when it hurt.
As a doctor, that often meant ignoring my body’s demands for food, sleep or even the bathroom, because people needed help.
When I went through IVF treatment, it meant not taking time off during a cycle. Working fulltime. And only giving myself one day off after I received a negative pregnancy test.
It meant booking big holidays and distracting myself from what I needed at that moment by looking constantly towards the next big thing.
And using all my energy to care for my patients and other doctors, instead of allowing myself to focus on what was happening for me.
That changed when a major ski accident forced me to slow down and reconsider the tools I was using to cope.
It showed me I needed to let my body guide my healing.
To nourish it not just with food, movement and rest.
But by listening to it.
Understanding its needs.
And creating and enforcing boundaries that allow those needs to be met.
Now, I am at a point where I want to do what my body needs.
And my recent expedition to hike the 220km Larapinta Trail truly put that to the test.
The Larapinta Trail – it’s an estimated 221km end to end hike, which means walking roughly 15 to 20km a day (sometimes up to 30kms).
I’m happy to admit, I’m not a ‘hiker.’
I enjoy walking in nature and connecting with the environment in an embodied way.
But I booked this trip as an excuse to immerse myself in nature through 16 days in the desert.
Not as a feat of endurance.
Or a destination achievement.
But as a journey.
It was clear from day one that my expectations did not meet reality.
The group dynamics were such that the majority of people were there for a challenge and their focus was on getting to the next destination.
Which is totally fine – for them.
The terrain was indescribably difficult. It was technical. It required lots of stability and concentration.
By day three, my right knee was painful and I was struggling to walk downhill.
By day four, the soles and tendons in my feet were incredibly sore.
By day five, I had a rash all over my chin and neck from the mixture of sweat and sunscreen.
By day six, my whole body was swollen, I developed carpal tunnel syndrome in my right hand and my thumb pads were sore from my walking sticks.
By day seven, I developed severe blisters on both heels.
My focus had changed.
Just finish. Just keep walking. Take paracetamol and ibuprofen for the pain and push through. Get it done.
On day eight, I kept walking.
But that night, I had time to thoroughly wash my blisters, which were now 20c-sized craggy, yellow islands across both my heels.
My gut, my intuition and my doctor self was saying ‘Ash, do NOT keep walking. This could be baaaaaad.’
But my determined and proud self wanted to prove something.
That I could do it despite the pain and the failings of my body.
That I could show ‘mind over matter’.
And that if toughening up was what was needed, I could do that too.
I asked the guides.
One said ‘It depends on your determination’ and offered options for managing the blisters throughout the day.
I asked the other hikers.
One said ‘I haven’t seen blisters like that before, but I would walk on those … I want to finish this walk, even if it kills me.
Another looked at me and said ‘What would Dr Ash say?’
I realised I was relying on other people’s ideas, opinions and expectations, instead of listening to my own. Respecting my intuition. And enforcing my body’s boundaries.
The thing is – I know that boundaries help us live by our values
So I reflected on mine.
I value my feet.
I value my health.
I value surfing and knew if I kept going I could be out of the water for weeks healing.
I value my body.
I value the messages I receive from my body.
And my body was saying “STOP”.
I did not value a chance to prove my determination.
I already knew I was determined. If I had wanted to, I could keep going.
I’ve had enough experience in my life to know I can do these things despite discomfort.
I was no longer willing to sacrifice my body’s needs for the sake of walking.
So I took a break.
And it was tough.
I had to tell the guides I was waiting in camp, again and again.
I had to watch group after group of walkers leave and then return, elated, at their success.
Even though I made a decision in line with what was most important to me, I still felt sad, annoyed and like I had failed somehow. Or that my body had failed me.
I allowed myself to feel those feelings. I wrote poetry, moved my body and connected with nature.
I respected my physical boundaries by refusing to put my body on the line for the sake of an achievement.
I respected my psychological boundaries by not letting other people’s ideas or opinions weigh in on my physical health.
And I respected my energetic boundaries by taking alone time, seeking support when I needed it and choosing who I allowed to see me in my vulnerability.
These boundaries helped me to stay true to myself.
They helped me at a crossroad – to go in the direction of how I used to be – determined, proud and formidable – or to go in the direction of nurturing and nourishing myself and accepting my body’s limitations.
It helped me gain clarity around what I wanted from my leisure.
And fostered a deep gratitude for everyone who supported me in a vulnerable time.
This is why I consider boundaries to be an important part of nourishing your body – one of the five pillars I believe we need to support to live a vital life.
And it’s why, when we work together – whether that’s for Mind-Body Therapy or my intensive 1:1 program Vitality Medicine – boundaries will come up a lot.
Questions usually arise:
“What is it that you want or need here?”
“What is it that you do not want or need here?”
“Would you like to take that on, or not?”
Boundaries are the step after understanding.
A step towards change.
Towards doing things differently.
If you want to know more. Come find me. I love boundaries. And I am learning every day how to enforce them more effectively and respectfully.