All the things we’re told about our bodies — And why I’m calling bullsh*t.
Do you ever feel like wherever you turn, modern beauty and body culture has a megaphone to your ear telling you how you should look? Telling you what to think and feel about your body? Telling you that you should be toned – no, thin – no, curvy – but not too curvy!?
We are told that our bodies are wrong.
We are told that the size of our bust or bums should change.
We are told that the circumference of our waists and the flatness of our stomachs determines our worth.
We are told our bodies are not muscular or masculine enough.
We are told our bodies are not curvy or feminine enough.
We are told that one type of body is good and one type of body is bad.
We are told that we’ll be happier, healthier, sexier and all-round-better, if we could just lose a little more weight.
Sometimes it seems like we are the audience for a never-ending fear campaign about bodies that don’t fit this month’s ideal.
It’s no wonder we start to believe it.
As a credentialed eating disorder clinician, I hear the stories.
How when people severely restrict their intake and lose weight through starvation, they are praised for looking better or more healthy than they did when they were actually healthy.
I need to say it – our perception of health is totally warped.
It has been overtaken by the beauty, fitness, wellness and entertainment industries – the people who make money off our unhappiness.
People whose lives are dedicated to projecting an image of body ‘perfection’, who spend each day with a team of staff to help them protect and maintain that image.
It is not real. It is not realistic. It is not you.
The truth is – you are imperfect. We all are.
And our imperfection is what makes us.
We connect with and remember people because of how they were different – not because of how they were the same. Not because of the size of their breasts, bottoms or thighs.
When we really truly see someone, we see their inherent being.
We see their ‘soul’ or their authentic self.
We see a spark. Aliveness. Vitality.
That’s what we’re drawn to – no matter what shape or size body it comes with.
Spending our life energy, our vitality, on the pursuit of body perfection is draining.
It stops us living a meaningful life.
Depletes our capacity for connection.
Becomes a barrier to true intimacy – where we are seen, heard, understood and known.
I’d like you to stop and take a moment to imagine …
What energy would be available to you if you stopped being concerned about how you are seen physically?
What would be different in your daily life if you could silence those streams of media showing us impossible-to-maintain bodies?
Where else could you put that energy? What else would you have room for – more joy, more freedom, more comfort?
The thing is, when we focus on what is wrong with our bodies, it’s really easy to forget what brings us joy.
Have you noticed what is draining you? The places where you are giving yourself away? Or believing the lies you’ve been told by modern society and culture about how you should live?
Let’s deconstruct the messages that we are being fed by a broken system.
And reconstruct what is true for you.
Let’s find what brings you joy, pleasure, and aliveness.